Who are you worshiping?

"Little children, keep yourself from idols."

This last verse of the book of 1 John was the subject of this morning's sermon. Perhaps it may seem like a strange text for advent, but the conclusion to my pastor's series on 1 John was tied in beautifully to the message of "Angels from the Realms of Glory" -- "Come and worship Christ, the newborn King."

I found myself incredibly convicted this morning, especially by the definition given for idolatry. To paraphrase what was said this morning, idolatry happens when the absence of anything makes me doubt God's goodness. In other words -- if I am sick, and that makes me doubt God's goodness, my health has become an idol. If I require anything beyond salvation to believe God, I have become guilty of idolatry.

Another, perhaps more subtle example of idolatry was pointed out in my philosophy class just last week. Can't philosophical systems become idols as well? My philosophy professor raised this question, reminding us students that philosophers, by nature, claim to have the answer to the way the world works. Whether it be Descartes or Kierkegaard, empiricism or rationalism, a philosophical system explains everything... even God's actions. It's very easy for that philosophical system to start not just describing how God acts, but defining it. In essence, we can easily elevate a system as an authority over God, creating an idol of our own intellect.

So -- the question I've been pondering all afternoon: Who am I worshiping?

With love from an absolute doll,

Erin Joy

P.S. -- Listen to Pastor Worley's sermon, entitled "Idols," here: http://www.gracechurchofdupage.org/online_sermons.html

incarnation in song :)

Take a moment and stop, in the busyness of December, to reflect on the reason we celebrate. Isn't it the simple, beautiful truth that God became man? When you think about it, the story of Christmas gives us reason to contemplate and celebrate one of the most integral parts of our faith. Focusing on Jesus at Christmas shouldn't just mean getting warm fuzzies and singing lullabies. It should mean remembering that the God of the universe chose to wrap Himself in the form of  a tiny baby -- then, now, and forever fully God and fully man.

I've been reflecting on the incarnation lately. With preparing to lead worship back in the country on December 26, and getting ready for our Christmas concert in the city this weekend, I've been filling my mind with the lyrics of solid hymns -- O Come All Ye Faithful, What Child Is This, Angels from the Realms of Glory, to name a few.

A contemporary song has been added to the mix. While I first heard this song on the radio a few years ago, I've grown incredibly attached to it this semester. Joy Williams's "Here With Us" is one of the most beautiful portraits of Christ's incarnation in song. It's not full of big theological terminology, but rather focuses on the simplicity of the mystery: God, now man, "here with us."

Listen to it here. You'll be glad you did.

With love from an absolute doll,

Erin Joy

"Mommy, she has ice skates!"

Every little girl in the city must have pointed them out as I walked back from the park, skates slung over my shoulder. The innocence of the children was priceless. Ice skates mean romantic twists and turns on the ice, and pretty outfits. They mean beautiful music and a graceful bow at the end.

I didn't try any of the twists and turns when I skated yesterday, but we watched an experienced skater in the center of the rink. She might have been in jeans and a hoodie, but her beautiful motion showed practice and skill. I commented on how much fun she was to watch, and how I'd surely fall if I tried. (I might have cotton to soften the blow, but I wouldn't want the blade to slice my fabric open.)

"You have to fall," my friend responded. It's not just a matter of being willing to risk the failure -- it's a matter of falling and learning how to pick yourself up again. When we see a pretty outfit and perfect landings, we forget the falls that led them there.

To be honest, the past few weeks have forced me to begin dealing with some falls. In my musical imperfections, sin issues, and other pain, I've been looking for the shortcut. I've wanted to take the bow without taking the bruise. 

My friend and I didn't fall while we skated yesterday, but as we sat in a café and drank tea together, we talked about the bruises and broken bones that are part of this life. We listened and shared our pain. As we talked, I was reminded of the beautiful acceptance we find in the body of Christ.

We all fall. None of us has the twists and turns mastered yet. My bruise may be in a different place than yours, but it's there just the same. By the grace of Jesus, we can look forward together to the healing we'll find in heaven -- beautiful music, white robes and all.

With love from an absolute doll,

Erin Joy

Evidently, we hug...

We all have those awkward moments. You know... the kind when someone waves at you, and you are trying to figure out who they are. You don't remember, but you play along, because they obviously know, and you wouldn't want to hurt their feelings.

Walking back onto campus a couple weeks ago, after our break, I was greeted by an excited redhead. She was waving, running toward me with arms outstretched, exclaiming that she hadn't seen me in FOREVER. I love getting greetings like this from my friends. (And, being the doll that I am, I get lots of hugs...) There was only one problem...

I didn't have a clue who she was.

Wracking my cotton-filled brain for any recollection of this young lady, I opened my arms in return. This went beyond waving and playing along. This went beyond saying hi and pretending I knew her life story -- obviously our relationship went deeper. Evidently, we hug...

She gave me an enthusiastic embrace. Then, she said the words that made this situation all the more awkward. "Do I know you?"

"Ummm... no. No. You don't." I stood there stunned, realizing to my embarrassment that she had been intending to hug the person behind me.

Playing along is always a gamble. You never know if the other person actually knows you or not, or if they're just pretending, too. You realize how awkward it is, then move on with your life. Unfortunately, that's not the end of my story.

The next night, I met up with a friend. (Just to clarify... I actually knew this person.) He turned and introduced me to a tall girl with red hair. Normally, you say, "Nice to meet you." Never in my life have I heard a greeting like this one.

"Did I hug you yesterday?"

With love... and hugs... from an absolute doll,

Erin Joy

Destination: ISRAEL!

I've been busy lately getting ready for the tour to Israel with the Women's Concert Choir at school. We're planning to give concerts and serve the people in Israel for two weeks in May, and all of us are getting excited. Rehearsals are happening, support letters are being written and stuffed, and we're talking about t-shirt designs. We recently had pictures taken, and we all had to have our dresses hemmed. Mine was just a bit long, but we fixed it. I had a friend run the sewing machine. (It's dangerous for dolls to sew -- we might get sewn to the clothes ourselves, and then where would we be?)

I've been so blessed by the music in rehearsal. Words about looking to heaven, God's amazing grace, and pressing on in suffering soothe my soul every time we practice, and I can't imagine what a ministry the program will be, even to us girls in choir. Our director puts so much time into choosing the music, and carefully selects Scripture to go with it. I'm looking forward to worshiping God through this music nearly every day for two weeks -- what a blessing!

The next step involves passports. Next thing I know we'll be planning what to pack... and in a few short months I'll be in the Holy Land. In the meantime, I need to polish some accompaniments, learn the second alto part, and pray fervently that God provides the grace to accomplish it all. Or... rather, that He accomplishes it all, and maybe uses me as a tool. I'd appreciate your prayers during this time of preparation. 

So... without further ado -- the prayer request list! As I blog about Israel tour preparations, I'll give two or three specific prayer requests, and would appreciate your intercession for us.

1. Pray that the work I do on accompaniments would be excellent, and that God would multiply my efforts during my practice hours.
2. Pray that I would be able to prioritize my time well, get enough sleep and continue to take care of my health. Every individual member's energy affects our effectiveness as a choir. (My health has been doing so much better, by the way!)
3. Pray that our support raising would be a bonding time for the choir, and that the mutual dependence on God for the finances of the trip would cause us to grow closer to Him and each other.

One more thing... if you're praying, would you comment and let me know? It would be such an encouragement to me during our preparation process that God has raised up some prayer warriors on our behalf.

With love from an absolute doll,

Erin Joy

Friendship, Fountains, and Fall

The city has enjoyed a beautiful October heat wave. Combining the gorgeous reds, browns and golds of autumn with the warmth of summer doesn't always happen, and I've been loving it. The flowers are still blooming in the parks, the fountains are still running, and the city is a perfect place to enjoy a relaxing Sunday afternoon.

It's important to take a break every now and then. In the midst of the stress of mid-term exams and projects, a friend and I chose to take a much needed break and walk around the city. We stopped in at some cute little shops, and looked in the window at others. We walked through a park and enjoyed the fountain. (My friend lifted me up so I could see it. She got my fabric a bit wet, but I splashed her back.) We went to an African worship concert that evening, and then had dinner at an Italian restaurant with sidewalk seating. I've always wanted to eat on a city sidewalk. :) I finished the evening refreshed, and much more prepared to study for exams.

There's something so charming about the city on a Sunday afternoon. Very few have a huge agenda. A lot of people are ambling, sitting on a park bench and reading, or stopping for a leisurely dinner at a restaurant. The bustling you see on a Saturday at Macy's was gone in the quaint little shops in this part of the city. Oh, there were still some in a hurry. There was a rowdy bunch at a sports bar watching the big game as we passed by. There were people standing in line, hoping to get their spot at a restaurant, and there were cars driving constantly.

But still, most seemed to have stopped for a moment to enjoy life. Maybe that's what heat waves in October do. Maybe everyone was just grabbing the last bit of warm weather they could. Or maybe I saw the city through rose colored glasses that afternoon. Perhaps my determination to set aside my worries caused me to see the world as carefree. Whatever the case, I found the city delightful on Sunday, and it's left me in something of a nostalgic mood.

I was also reminded that afternoon of the beauty of friendship. A very close friend and I enjoyed the afternoon together, forgetting about homework for a while and sharing the stresses and joys of life. Our choir director joined us for dinner, and we enjoyed fellowship and laughter as the evening waned.

Honestly, I don't know how I would have made it through midterms if it hadn't been for some intentional rest. When you use your brain all the time, the stuffing gets squished from so much hard thinking, and you get tense all over. Sometimes, you need to be a little floppy and flexible. I reaped the benefits of that rest this weekend.

With love from an absolute doll,

Erin Joy

SuperDoll!

I ended up with whatever "gunk" has been going around campus this week. Normally, I'd push through, maybe take a nap or two, and be fine. This time around, pushing ahead wasn't an option. Frankly, a bad cold, left alone, could give me a relapse. So I've taken care of it... and fought it within an inch of my life.

You see, I want to be better. And I was getting better!! I was right on my way back to "SuperDoll" mode -- I could stay up late, I could do my homework, I could practice my full amount, I could do it all... and I didn't want to admit that having a cold could take me down.

My roommate had to tell me that I should skip church to sleep. My piano teacher had to tell me that I should skip class to sleep. My mother had to tell me that I should miss my volunteer tutoring in the projects to go to bed early. And when I wasn't being told by people who care about me that I should take care of myself, everyone I saw was asking me if I felt okay. "You look white," a friend observed just today.

I hate this... SuperDoll is an undefeated power, with lungs of steel.

But in the midst of hating this, God communicated a beautiful truth to me.

I will do anything I can to get better. I willingly schedule time for my breathing treatments, getting up early, sneaking out a few minutes in the middle of my day, and leaving time before I go to bed. I know that if I don't, I'll pay for it. I won't be SuperDoll without my treatments.

But at the same time, I make excuses about not finding time for God's Word. You know that superhuman strength I need to live each moment in the Spirit? I can't get that on my own... but I've observed that I more willingly carve out time to be a physical SuperDoll than to be a spiritual one. That is a huge disconnect.

So, to give this dense, cotton-filled head a bit of a connector, I have decided to spend time in the Word while I do my treatments. It may be a small start, but I'll be associating the spiritual sustenance with the physical. When I'm fully recovered physically, I'm hoping the lesson will stick...

I'm also hoping I'll remember that my lungs are made of cotton, not steel. :)

With love from an absolute (but not so super) doll,

Erin Joy