Imitating Christ: Our Inward Witness

My choir has been going through the book Imitation of Christ by Thomas à Kempis. I have already found the book challenging and rewarding, and I'm looking forward to continuing to study it.

One constant challenge to me in this book has been seeking God alone. Whether it be relating to adversity, pride, or a focus on the world, the solution is to look at Christ.

"Then we chiefly seek God for our inward witness, when outwardly we are condemned by men, and when there is no credit given to us. And therefore a man should rest himself so fully in God, that he need not to seek many comforts of men," à Kempis writes in chapter 12.

This idea of inward witness is an interesting and difficult one. Frankly, I'm human. (I know you thought I was a perfect doll, but I guess the truth comes out...) Seriously, though -- like everyone, I like the affirmation of people. I like it when they observe that I'm growing. I like it when my godliness is noticed. When someone criticizes me, I struggle not to crumple on the inside.

But, as à Kempis so wisely demonstrates, we don't need to flaunt our growth for the praise of men. Some things are meant to be between me and God. When we don't receive praise of men, that can drive us to Christ. God can be our inward witness -- a witness to the holiness He is creating in us.

Resting in the truth that God's witness is what matters can help us take the value from the criticism we receive as well. The Holy Spirit convicts -- in my experience, praying over criticism I receive often helps me evaluate what in my life does need to be addressed. He can be a witness to areas that need correction, too.

So there's the first of my thoughts on this book! :) Look for more blog posts as I continue working my way through it.

With love from an absolute doll,

Erin Joy

Note: Like any human writing, Imitation of Christ must be read through the lens of Scripture. (I certainly hope you do so with my blog posts!!) As I read with God's grace constantly in mind, this book has provided such an encouragement and conviction toward godly living and resting in Christ. If you were to forget God's grace as you read, however, you might see in the book an encouragement towards legalism -- so when you read this book, remember grace. :)

So, I can't sleep...

I'm waiting for the cough syrup with codeine to actually make me drowsy, and hoping that before too long, I'll be in bed, sound asleep... So, a disclaimer: This is not an organized post. It is a rambling. Take it for what it's worth.

Yup. I'm sick again. After just getting over the hump in January, I've been on albuterol this week for the first time in a month. Feeling sick again has put some things in perspective -- you know, those overwhelming projects and hectic class schedules? Life gets put on hold for a few days while I concentrate on feeling better, and that's okay.

To be honest, I've had a hard time keeping perspective recently. It's surprising how quickly I've gotten used to being able to do it all. I put in lots of practice over the past few weeks (which is one reason why you haven't seen me on the blogosphere), I did my homework, I worked hard, and I was doing this thing!! I had the energy to do it all once again.

But, as I sit here with a headache, sore throat, and tired body, I have been reminded once again of my frailty, of the truth that I simply cannot do it all. (See the previous post entitled "Super Doll" for more details...)

But isn't that what grace is about? I think sometimes I have this picture that I have to earn God's grace. Remember elementary school, when you studied for that math test super hard, and then you prayed, and you got an A? Remember how you were convinced it was God, and then you remembered you studied? Boom!! All the credit goes right back to me.

But in reality, it's only His grace. Perhaps it was what theologians like to call "common grace" (grace given to all mankind, saved or not) that let you study and recall and pass the test, but it was still grace nonetheless.

I've received pictures of grace lately. Not being able to pay my school bill, and watching God provide -- that's grace. A friend offering to e-mail me notes for a class I missed because I was sick -- that's grace. My roommate giving me her ramen noodle soup because I was sick and couldn't walk to Walgreens to buy any -- that's grace.

I think I've heard grace defined before as "giving you what you don't deserve."

I think being alive and starting to get sleepy qualifies, too. :)

So, with that -- good night!!

With love from an absolute doll,

Erin Joy

a lack of blogging, but a lot of growing

Well, my friends, it's been a while. My apologies for the lack of blogging -- Christmas break was pretty packed. I ended up working about 30 hours a week while I was home, getting ready for my brother's wedding, and going to doctor's appointments. Then it was back on campus, a week of classes, and tour... and now it's finally time to blog again.

A simple one paragraph summary of the past few weeks doesn't quite seem to do it justice. To be honest, God has done a lot in my heart and life in such a short time, but I'm hard put to figure out how to express it. Whether it be graciously providing a solution to my ongoing health problems (I'm taking the stairs again!), or reminding me of the power of prayer, I'm grateful.

I'm looking forward to the upcoming semester. I've got some great classes -- Systematic Theology I, Church Music Ministries, Hermeneutics, and Piano Pedagogy. Much like last semester, I'm excited about all of them. A lot of the semester will also be spent preparing for my choir's tour to Israel in May.

I will do my best to keep blogging regularly. If you have any suggestions or comments, please let me know! :) And... in the meantime, I'd appreciate your prayers -- for class, health, practice, and most importantly, a continued focus on Him.

With love from an absolute doll,

Erin Joy

Who are you worshiping?

"Little children, keep yourself from idols."

This last verse of the book of 1 John was the subject of this morning's sermon. Perhaps it may seem like a strange text for advent, but the conclusion to my pastor's series on 1 John was tied in beautifully to the message of "Angels from the Realms of Glory" -- "Come and worship Christ, the newborn King."

I found myself incredibly convicted this morning, especially by the definition given for idolatry. To paraphrase what was said this morning, idolatry happens when the absence of anything makes me doubt God's goodness. In other words -- if I am sick, and that makes me doubt God's goodness, my health has become an idol. If I require anything beyond salvation to believe God, I have become guilty of idolatry.

Another, perhaps more subtle example of idolatry was pointed out in my philosophy class just last week. Can't philosophical systems become idols as well? My philosophy professor raised this question, reminding us students that philosophers, by nature, claim to have the answer to the way the world works. Whether it be Descartes or Kierkegaard, empiricism or rationalism, a philosophical system explains everything... even God's actions. It's very easy for that philosophical system to start not just describing how God acts, but defining it. In essence, we can easily elevate a system as an authority over God, creating an idol of our own intellect.

So -- the question I've been pondering all afternoon: Who am I worshiping?

With love from an absolute doll,

Erin Joy

P.S. -- Listen to Pastor Worley's sermon, entitled "Idols," here: http://www.gracechurchofdupage.org/online_sermons.html

incarnation in song :)

Take a moment and stop, in the busyness of December, to reflect on the reason we celebrate. Isn't it the simple, beautiful truth that God became man? When you think about it, the story of Christmas gives us reason to contemplate and celebrate one of the most integral parts of our faith. Focusing on Jesus at Christmas shouldn't just mean getting warm fuzzies and singing lullabies. It should mean remembering that the God of the universe chose to wrap Himself in the form of  a tiny baby -- then, now, and forever fully God and fully man.

I've been reflecting on the incarnation lately. With preparing to lead worship back in the country on December 26, and getting ready for our Christmas concert in the city this weekend, I've been filling my mind with the lyrics of solid hymns -- O Come All Ye Faithful, What Child Is This, Angels from the Realms of Glory, to name a few.

A contemporary song has been added to the mix. While I first heard this song on the radio a few years ago, I've grown incredibly attached to it this semester. Joy Williams's "Here With Us" is one of the most beautiful portraits of Christ's incarnation in song. It's not full of big theological terminology, but rather focuses on the simplicity of the mystery: God, now man, "here with us."

Listen to it here. You'll be glad you did.

With love from an absolute doll,

Erin Joy

"Mommy, she has ice skates!"

Every little girl in the city must have pointed them out as I walked back from the park, skates slung over my shoulder. The innocence of the children was priceless. Ice skates mean romantic twists and turns on the ice, and pretty outfits. They mean beautiful music and a graceful bow at the end.

I didn't try any of the twists and turns when I skated yesterday, but we watched an experienced skater in the center of the rink. She might have been in jeans and a hoodie, but her beautiful motion showed practice and skill. I commented on how much fun she was to watch, and how I'd surely fall if I tried. (I might have cotton to soften the blow, but I wouldn't want the blade to slice my fabric open.)

"You have to fall," my friend responded. It's not just a matter of being willing to risk the failure -- it's a matter of falling and learning how to pick yourself up again. When we see a pretty outfit and perfect landings, we forget the falls that led them there.

To be honest, the past few weeks have forced me to begin dealing with some falls. In my musical imperfections, sin issues, and other pain, I've been looking for the shortcut. I've wanted to take the bow without taking the bruise. 

My friend and I didn't fall while we skated yesterday, but as we sat in a café and drank tea together, we talked about the bruises and broken bones that are part of this life. We listened and shared our pain. As we talked, I was reminded of the beautiful acceptance we find in the body of Christ.

We all fall. None of us has the twists and turns mastered yet. My bruise may be in a different place than yours, but it's there just the same. By the grace of Jesus, we can look forward together to the healing we'll find in heaven -- beautiful music, white robes and all.

With love from an absolute doll,

Erin Joy