Thoughts on "The Blind Side"

I saw The Blind Side, starring Sandra Bullock (Academy Award winner for best actress in this film), for the first time tonight. Before you tell me that I'm a little behind the times... let me remind you that a doll like me gets pretty busy. (Also... whenever I go to the movie theater, I always sit behind someone taller than me. You try being 0' 10 3/4" and then you'll understand...)

In the movie, a white family adopts an African American young man who grew up in the projects in Memphis, Tennessee. They help Michael improve his grades and learn to play football, eventually getting him a football scholarship to a college (with some plot twists along the way).

I was very impressed with the movie. I could talk about how it painted Christians in a relatively good light, or about what a good actress Sandra Bullock is, but honestly, the thing I'm left with as an audience member was what a beautiful movie it was. My only concern is that movie-goers across America watched the movie, maybe even cried or felt moved, but did nothing about it.

I tutor African-American high school students in the projects in my city. I've seen firsthand that the life that Michael Oher led was not an exception, except for one thing. He was adopted and had a chance to make it in the world. These kids I tutor are working on their college applications... but that's because an organization from my church is offering tutoring, help with physical needs, and people who care about the children enough to believe in them.

For every Michael Oher, there are countless children who won't get that chance. They'll drop out of high school and do drugs just like their parents. They'll be bounced from foster home to foster home. They'll get pregnant at 16 (some already are), and, as one of my friends put it, they'll see more before they turn six than I'll see in my lifetime. At the same time, they may never leave their neighborhood.

In the meantime, we sit in our cushy American homes and help by tutoring once a week, if that. We worry more about our own safety, our own comfort, and our own schedule than we do about the lives of these children... we spend money on a movie ticket to see one of their success stories that could have gone to buy one of them a meal. It seems kind of inconsistent, don't you think?

Perhaps God isn't calling you to work with kids in the inner city projects. Obviously, that's not where He has placed everyone. But I can tell you one thing: God didn't call you to be comfortable. He called you to be a comforter of the brokenhearted... and I think there's a big difference.

With love from an absolute doll,

Erin Joy

Mountains, Much-Afraid, and M&M's

Hello, everyone... it's me, Erin Joy.

I know I've been absent for a while... but I've been told occasionally that a doll like me is very much missed, so I thought I'd start posting again. :)

I just got back from a wonderful tour with the Women's Concert Choir. We spent most of it in the Virginias and Carolinas, enjoying fellowship, music, sight seeing... and LOTS of chocolate! Our "signature" candy is the M&M... you'd be surprised at how many of those a doll like me can eat. (Maybe that's where I got that extra cotton...)

One of the things I've appreciated most about WCC is the spiritual focus the group has. In addition to prayer time each week with a small group, we have weekly devotions. This semester, we've been going through the book Hinds' Feet on High Places. On tour, parts of Hinds' Feet were able to come to life as we looked out over the mountains of North Carolina from the famous Chimney Rock.

God used Hinds' Feet, Chimney Rock, and a host of other experiences over the past few weeks to cause me to realize a very important lesson. Once again, He asked me to surrender. I've had a list of "worst case scenarios" that could happen, and had subconsciously decided that if God asked me to do one of these things I would be very unwilling. God started showing me this lack of surrender before we left on tour, and then it all began to culminate at Chimney Rock.

As I looked out over the gorgeous mountains, I realized anew how majestic and huge my God is. When you compare God to a tiny doll like me... I'm pretty small. I know He is loving and good... but He deserves to be followed because He is God, not just because He has my best interests at heart.

The chapter from Hinds' Feet we had just read echoed this same lesson. In the chapter, the Shepherd asked Much-Afraid what she would do if everything appeared that He had deceived her. "My Lord," she said, "if you can deceive me, you may. It can make no difference. I must love you as long as I continue to exist. I cannot live without loving you."

God's majesty and character drove me that day to a new kind of surrender: a surrender not based on what God might call me to do, but a surrender based on who God is. Because, like Much-Afraid, I had to realize that no matter what He asks, it makes no difference. I must love Him and follow Him, because that's what He deserves.

With love from an absolute doll,

Erin Joy

a big city doll once again... :)

The past week has been pretty insane -- I moved into school on the 20th, and ever since it's been going, going, going... maybe it'll settle down soon?? :)

This semester is going to keep me pretty busy. I'm taking almost all music classes: music history, contemporary music theory, piano service playing, conducting, and church music philosophy. I'm also taking a course in church history/western civilization, plus piano lessons and ensembles. I'm pretty excited for most of my classes... it's just going to keep me quite busy. :) (When your textbooks are taller than you are, it gets a bit difficult.)

For those of you wondering about my job situation, God is continuing to provide in that area. I'm working a variety of "odd jobs" in the music department this year: I'm a TA for one of the professors, a music building deskworker, a student accompanist, and a teacher in the Community Music School. There's a couple other possibilities, too... we'll have to see how those pan out.

I'm loving being back in the city. I think I've missed the activity, the bustling streets, the city sights and smells. The other night one of my roommates and I went down to the water and enjoyed a picnic lunch. It was so much fun! I've realized I need to do that more often: get off campus and take in the world around me.

Well... that's all for now. I'll try to keep you updated a little more often. :)

With love from an absolute doll,
Erin Joy

Simple Blessings

"Life is just a bowl of cherries..."

My summer has not been a perfect bowl of cherries. In fact, I was pretty discouraged in mid-July. I found myself wondering why my summer wasn't being perfect and simple like I wanted it to be. The cherries were staining my fabric, and I felt like I was biting down on the pits. What was I doing wrong, and how was I supposed to fix it?

But God never promised that life would be easy. God never promised that it would all go my way. He simply promised to love me and make me grow through it all. As I realized that once again, I became more aware of the need to look for the little things in life, the simple blessings.

Simple blessings are things like...

--Finding a huge mound of sweet corn sitting on the table for supper... and getting to eat it! Fresh, home-grown sweet corn, picked the right way, cooked the right way... mmmmm..... :)

--Playing a round of Scattergories with my sister at 10:00 at night... and winning!

--Driving to Bible camp on my day off

--Watching an episode of Hogan's Heroes with my family

--Calling my brother at nearly midnight on my way home from work because I had a rough day

--Fun voicemails from friends... and calling them back :)

--A gorgeous rural America sunset

--Getting a $20 tip at the restaurant... for a $30 ticket!

--Having a friend tell me she can see the joy of Christ in my eyes

--Knowing that Jesus loves me, no matter what! :)

When we look for these simple blessings, life takes a whole new perspective. Yes, there are still hard things in my summer, moments when I need nothing more than a good cry. Yes, there will continue to be times when I have to grapple with these difficulties and figure out if I need to change something. Sometimes, things will happen that I can't control and that will cause me great pain... and sometimes, life will be rough. But when the cherry stains get bigger, and when the bowl seems to be more pits than anything else, we need to look to the Savior and thank Him for giving us the bowl, trust Him to know best... and pick out whatever cherries we can.

With love from an absolute doll,
Erin Joy

Waitressing Tales

Being a waitress is full of adventures! Whether it's getting a $5 tip just for serving someone a Sprite, or dealing with a coffee maker that I still haven't mastered, there's always something interesting every day. This post will be a collection of musings, stories and the like... all about my summer job.

The other day, I was delivering a room service order to the third floor. (I had to climb the cart to reach the elevator button... but I got there eventually.) A lady answered the door, looking like she'd had a long day. She was exhausted, a bit disheveled, and if memory serves me correctly, had probably been crying a bit. The TV was on in the other room. As I shimmied up to the top of the cart and started shoving the plates onto her table, she looked at me and said with a pitiful look, "That's so sad... about Michael Jackson." Ummm... wow. I realize many are mourning his death, and it is sad... but this seemed just a bit over the top.

I've discovered that I sell more desserts if I describe one or two, instead of just asking if they want to see the menu. More people look at the menu after I've suggested strawberry shortcake, and if they look at the menu, they're much more likely to buy something. I've even sold a strawberry shortcake or two without bringing a menu. It sounds good, so they take it!! :)

One lady tried to convince me that it was illegal to serve a hamburger cooked medium rare. We even had the chef out there, telling her that no, it wasn't against health codes. I don't think she ever believed us. (Just for the record, dear readers, you can serve beef cooked however you want... from raw to hockey puck.)

I cooked my first crème brulée the other night. Normally, we cook this with a torch in front of the customer. It was fun and made me nervous at the same time. I was careful not to get my fabric singed.

One of my favorite tables recently had several elderly people who had driven hours that day, heading to a nearby lake for a family reunion. They stopped in the town where the restaurant is to stay the night... and they were very cheery and chatty. As soon as they found out that I had vacationed a couple years ago in their home state, they were delighted to chat, and chat, and chat... :) (I mean, after all, not every doll is as well-traveled as I!)

Well... I've got a pile of things to do before I go and wait tables tonight. So I think I'll sign off for now!

With love from an absolute doll,
Erin Joy

"A prayer to the God of my life"

My devotions landed me in Psalm 42 this week. I hope and pray that this psalm can encourage you as it has me.

This beautiful psalm (which, by the way, I would encourage you to read!!) opens with the psalmist declaring that he longs for God the way a deer longs for water. But why is he longing for God? Because for whatever reason, men are surrounding him, demanding to know where his God is. The psalmist, in tears, doesn't have an easy answer. He remembers when he led triumphant people into the temple, worshiping God, but now, his soul is "cast down" and "in turmoil." Still, the psalmist forces himself to remember God's salvation in the past, and reminds himself to hope in God.

Sometimes, it isn't always easy to know where God is. I've certainly had moments in the past few weeks when I've wondered why God's doing what He's doing. I know He's sovereign. I've seen Him work in the past. But when life hits, and you feel like you're on a roller-coaster ride, and you can't see how God's working, it doesn't seem so easy anymore. You desire God, even pant after Him, but you don't know how to find Him.

For me, verse eight was the beautiful reminder that I needed, in the midst of confusing, conflicting emotions. "By day the Lord commands His steadfast love, and at night His song is with me, a prayer to the God of my life." God's love is steadfast. It doesn't change. My circumstances and my reaction are what change. The God of my life is there, steadfast, giving me His song. (You knew I'd throw the song in there, didn't you??) The song He gives me becomes my prayer. With that song, prayer, and the knowledge of His steadfast love, I'm enabled to hope and trust in Him, no matter if life makes sense or not.

As I read this psalm, my definition of thirst for God was completely transformed. Desiring God isn't some ambiguous thing that only the super-spiritual can achieve. It's something that can manifest itself in long hours in the Word or in prayer, or sometimes simply in clinging to a single promise He has given us. Thirsting for God is longing for His steadfast love to wash over you like a waterfall, even in the midst of tears. It's choosing to sing His song when circumstances seem to defy His presence. It's letting that song become a prayer... a prayer to the God of your life.

With love from an absolute doll,
Erin Joy

Spring Semester Snapshots

It has been far too long since my wise (or not so wise...) thoughts have entered into the wonderful world of the blogosphere. I've been busy, I've been distracted, and it's high time that I blog again.

I've posted here a couple snapshots of the rest of my semester in the big city. The top photo is of me and my dear roommates. :) While these lovely ladies and I will not be rooming together next year, we had a great year as a threesome! All three of us were women's choir members, bringing me to my next fond memory.

I loved being part of the WCC!! I was able to serve as one of the Women's Concert Choir accompanists, which was so much fun. I played the piano, turned pages, carried dress bags, and sang... sometimes. :P I have so many good memories from our tour! We were able to travel to the northeastern part of the country and sing for many people. We had the chance to stay in the homes of the congregations where we performed, which was an incredible experience. We also were priveleged to see several people trust Christ at one of our concerts. It was a blessing to be part of it.

The semester wore on, and God taught me heaps of lessons along the way. Lessons like managing my time and trusting Jehovah-Jireh to provide have been difficult, but much needed lessons to learn. God has been so good to me. It's hard to believe that I'm back in my tiny rural town, far away from the big city. I can't wait to see what the summer holds! I'm currently planning to work as a news reporter and as a waitress. (For a small doll, I've gotten some decent tips... I think some people are just impressed that I can reach the table!)

Well... as much as I know you'd love to hear all about my summer escapades, we'll have to save those for another post. Keep me in your prayers!!

With love from an absolute doll,

Erin Joy