Imitating Christ: Our Inward Witness

My choir has been going through the book Imitation of Christ by Thomas à Kempis. I have already found the book challenging and rewarding, and I'm looking forward to continuing to study it.

One constant challenge to me in this book has been seeking God alone. Whether it be relating to adversity, pride, or a focus on the world, the solution is to look at Christ.

"Then we chiefly seek God for our inward witness, when outwardly we are condemned by men, and when there is no credit given to us. And therefore a man should rest himself so fully in God, that he need not to seek many comforts of men," à Kempis writes in chapter 12.

This idea of inward witness is an interesting and difficult one. Frankly, I'm human. (I know you thought I was a perfect doll, but I guess the truth comes out...) Seriously, though -- like everyone, I like the affirmation of people. I like it when they observe that I'm growing. I like it when my godliness is noticed. When someone criticizes me, I struggle not to crumple on the inside.

But, as à Kempis so wisely demonstrates, we don't need to flaunt our growth for the praise of men. Some things are meant to be between me and God. When we don't receive praise of men, that can drive us to Christ. God can be our inward witness -- a witness to the holiness He is creating in us.

Resting in the truth that God's witness is what matters can help us take the value from the criticism we receive as well. The Holy Spirit convicts -- in my experience, praying over criticism I receive often helps me evaluate what in my life does need to be addressed. He can be a witness to areas that need correction, too.

So there's the first of my thoughts on this book! :) Look for more blog posts as I continue working my way through it.

With love from an absolute doll,

Erin Joy

Note: Like any human writing, Imitation of Christ must be read through the lens of Scripture. (I certainly hope you do so with my blog posts!!) As I read with God's grace constantly in mind, this book has provided such an encouragement and conviction toward godly living and resting in Christ. If you were to forget God's grace as you read, however, you might see in the book an encouragement towards legalism -- so when you read this book, remember grace. :)

Tour Highlights

It is hard (next to impossible) to sum up two weeks in Washington and British Columbia with a single post. I think the plan will be to share a few highlights, a few photos, and then allow you to realize that God did so much more. :)

Highlight #1: Gorgeous scenery. I loved the mountains, and it seemed as though every home where we stayed had yet another breathtaking view. This was taken from the porch of a home built out on a bluff. At another host home, we stayed right on the Columbia River. Later on, our drive from Washington to Canada was what some say is the most scenic route in all of Washington. I think I believe them. :)

Highlight #2: Visiting our school's other campus, located in Washington. We sang two chapels, one of for their main campus, and one at the missionary aviation campus. This is a photo of a bookcase on the aviation campus, holding Bibles that aviation graduates have helped to translate, whether by flying the plane or being involved in the actual translation process. It was incredible to the other campus we hear so much about, and to meet our brothers and sisters in Christ there.

Highlight #3: Host home stays. While this photo was taken at a multi-million dollar home near Seattle (this is the bed their dog used to use -- Kirsten's was much bigger!), we stayed in a huge variety. Some of my favorites were a little elderly couple who shared with us what they had, a retired AWANA missionary who gave us hand waxes and let us soak in the hot tub, and the parents of a recent missionary-martyr who held no animosity in their hearts.

Highlight #4: New modes of transportation! :) On this tour, I took my first ferry ride. We rode the "Queen of Coquitlam" from Vancouver to Vancouver Island. One of my favorite views in all of tour was the snowcapped peaks of the mainland rising above the sea on the way back. Also on this trip, I took my first ever airplane flight. My family always did road trips for our vacations, so I've never really had occasion to fly. Now I'm all ready for our long flight over to Israel come May...

Highlight #5: French on the signs in Canada. I cannot tell you how happy it made me.... :) I took five years of French in junior high and high school, and while I've forgotten more than I care to admit, it was so fun to realize that I'd actually retained some of it. I talked to a couple ladies in French at our hotel stop in Canada, and they told me I spoke very well. (Still not sure if they were just being nice since I'm such a cute little doll, or if they were telling the truth...) I was pleasantly surprised at how much of a conversation I was able to carry on.

As always, it was a pleasure to see God use the choir over the course of the two week tour. Watching the ladies respond in a Christ-like way to frustrating situations and intense schedules was especially challenging to me this year. God used tour to remind me that it isn't all about me. It's about Jesus. (I could call this highlight #6.... but He is the King of all the tour highlights.)

Well... it's bedtime. My cotton needs to rest a bit. :)

With love from an absolute doll,

Erin Joy

Washington, here I come!

 

Tonight, I fly out to Seattle with the Women's Concert Choir. We'll be touring for two weeks in the Pacific Northwest and Canada, enjoying the mountains and the rain. I remembered to throw in a waterproof jacket, because my fabric gets kind of gross when it's damp. (True story. The cotton gets all soggy, and starts to stick to my insides, and then I have to ride in the dryer, and that's hot and uncomfortable, and.... well... I'll quit whining.)

The past two weeks have been kind of hectic. With being sick, hearing some very difficult news, and midterms approaching, I haven't had a chance to sit and just be. I'm looking forward to some of those bus rides in the next couple weeks. The quiet hours will be very refreshing.

At our local concert last Sunday, I was once again blown away by the beauty of the program our director has put together. The theme is one of hope, urging us to hold on and rejoice in Christ, even in the midst of suffering. I needed that on Sunday, and to be able to worship with it every night for two weeks will be a gift from God.

I'm praying that God will grant me opportunities to serve the choir and learn from the other ladies, as well. Whether it be conversations on the bus or shared host home experiences, I'm confident that God will work in me through the lives and testimonies of the others. Hopefully, he can use me to touch their lives, too.

I've already seen an example of that through the choir recently. A friend stopped by the desk a week or two ago and shared what God was doing in her life. She was trying to work through some things, and somehow, God gave me the Scripture to share with her. Just a few days later, she was sharing this same Scripture at our choir concert. God knew I needed to hear that again... just in time.

Well, my shift at the desk is over. I'll write again after tour! :)

With love from an absolute doll,

Erin Joy

So, I can't sleep...

I'm waiting for the cough syrup with codeine to actually make me drowsy, and hoping that before too long, I'll be in bed, sound asleep... So, a disclaimer: This is not an organized post. It is a rambling. Take it for what it's worth.

Yup. I'm sick again. After just getting over the hump in January, I've been on albuterol this week for the first time in a month. Feeling sick again has put some things in perspective -- you know, those overwhelming projects and hectic class schedules? Life gets put on hold for a few days while I concentrate on feeling better, and that's okay.

To be honest, I've had a hard time keeping perspective recently. It's surprising how quickly I've gotten used to being able to do it all. I put in lots of practice over the past few weeks (which is one reason why you haven't seen me on the blogosphere), I did my homework, I worked hard, and I was doing this thing!! I had the energy to do it all once again.

But, as I sit here with a headache, sore throat, and tired body, I have been reminded once again of my frailty, of the truth that I simply cannot do it all. (See the previous post entitled "Super Doll" for more details...)

But isn't that what grace is about? I think sometimes I have this picture that I have to earn God's grace. Remember elementary school, when you studied for that math test super hard, and then you prayed, and you got an A? Remember how you were convinced it was God, and then you remembered you studied? Boom!! All the credit goes right back to me.

But in reality, it's only His grace. Perhaps it was what theologians like to call "common grace" (grace given to all mankind, saved or not) that let you study and recall and pass the test, but it was still grace nonetheless.

I've received pictures of grace lately. Not being able to pay my school bill, and watching God provide -- that's grace. A friend offering to e-mail me notes for a class I missed because I was sick -- that's grace. My roommate giving me her ramen noodle soup because I was sick and couldn't walk to Walgreens to buy any -- that's grace.

I think I've heard grace defined before as "giving you what you don't deserve."

I think being alive and starting to get sleepy qualifies, too. :)

So, with that -- good night!!

With love from an absolute doll,

Erin Joy

Israel Tour preparations

This weekend, I'm keeping busy preparing updates on my choir's upcoming trip to Israel. I'm sending out a whole host of update letters, and am pleased to announce that God has thus far provided over two-thirds of the necessary funds for my own account. The choir as a whole is at a little less than half. I'm praying boldly that God will supply all our needs. (After all, as one of my fellow choristers is known to point out: "He owns the cattle on a thousand hills... and I know how much those cattle cost!")

Our choir has a recording date set for the beginning of March, and then we tour the Pacific Northwest. The Israel tour is slated for May. At this point, we only have nine more rehearsals before we record, so as you can imagine, it's getting intense. As an accompanist, I still need to be putting in practice time on the accompaniments; one of them is especially challenging.

Please be praying for us in the next few weeks as we prepare to record. In particular:

1. Pray for health and rest for the choir. (I have seen a nearly complete turn-around in my own health over the past few weeks, but I know colds have still been going around.)
2. Pray for discipline in rehearsal -- both organized and individual rehearsal outside of the choir time. Pray that we would all have the motivation to put in the time it will take.
3. Pray for support raising, that as our update letters go out next week, God would lay it on people's hearts to give. Pray that this experience would unify us and help us place the correct priority on the Kingdom purpose of the trip.

With love from an absolute doll,

Erin Joy

P.S. -- On an entirely unrelated note, I know the couch in the picture is ugly. It does, however, have two wonderful features going for it -- it is comfortable, and it was free. If you are interested in sending donations to pay for a prettier couch, the ladies in 604 would gladly accept them; however, I think I'll save my support letter writing for choir. :)

"He has withheld no good thing"

I just came out of a conference on "The Riches of His Grace," and I have been reminded in tangible ways that our Savior's grace does not end with salvation. To the contrary, God often loves to shower His people with blessings, just because He can.

Do not misunderstand me -- I am not trying to preach a "health and wealth" gospel. I understand that we must grapple with pain and suffering in our day-to-day walks, and it's often during sorrow that we mature and grow the most. I've been reminded also about the importance of feeling pain, but we'll save that for another post. For now, I'd like to share a recent tangible display of our God's grace.

The last day of the conference, someone was prompted to hand me some cash and tell me it was "spending money." While I was very grateful at the time, and praised God for His provision, it wasn't until the next day that I realized the perfect plan He had.

I was taking a picture for the blog. Well, trying to, that is, when I realized my camera wouldn't work. With the discovery that my camera was dying, I became incredibly discouraged. There was no way I would be able to afford to replace my camera. And then I remembered the money I had been given.

When I went online to look at camera prices, I found a camera on sale. I was able to purchase it for almost exactly the amount I had been given. For the price of a memory card, my new camera was on its way. I would be able to take pictures of Israel, of my adventures in the city, and of course, a few pictures of my "doll-ing" little self for the blog. The words of a song Sara Groves had performed at our conference came flooding through my mind: "He has withheld no good thing..."

The song had touched me deeply. She shared about an afternoon in her hometown several years ago. She wanted to drive by the house where she grew up one last time... and when she arrived, it was for sale and open for viewing. God's grace in letting her see the memories was beautiful, and reminded me of His grace to me. Romans 8:32 reads, "He who did not spare His own Son but gave Him up for us all,  how will He not also with Him graciously give us all things?"

My story didn't end with the camera. There have been dozens of things -- some large, some small, but all from God. I have received blessings that range from extra time with my parents because of a snow storm to trading my work hours so I have a free Saturday night this weekend. I deserve hell, but He has given me eternal life through His Son, and so much more besides.

What tangible ways have you seen God's grace lately? Let's glorify His name together.

With love from an absolute doll,

Erin Joy

The Blizzard of 2011

You have to laugh at all the big names they are giving this storm. I have heard it called both "Snowpocalypse" and "Snowmageddon." On several news websites, entire articles are devoted to requesting name suggestions, and Tuesday night during the storm, my Facebook friends started using the term "thundersnow."

I think a commenter on CBS Chicago's article summed it up beautifully. "How about just calling it 'winter'?" Margaret asked.

And winter it was. The snowstorm dropped close to two feet of snow over the course of two days, with wind, thunder, and lightening. There's a running joke at my school that the coming of our annual Bible conference brings on the first February cold spell. Memories of waiting in line for the shuttle bus to take us back from the conference site to campus mix with the equally long lines to get food in the cafeteria. This year's chill was no exception, and as my fabric got cold and wet just from walking a few feet to a shuttle bus, I found myself glad that the food lines were shorter.

Well... I guess not shorter for everyone else. :) "Snowmageddon" brought a delightful surprise. My parents, who had been intending to come to the conference in time for Wednesday night's session, drove in early to beat the storm. To my delight, this meant an extra two afternoons with them. They wanted to avoid the lines, and I didn't complain... :)

We went out to eat with some friends on Tuesday, at a restaurant on the 95th floor. (Do you know how many floors that is in doll floors???) Watching the storm come in from up above was incredible -- at the beginning of our meal, the view was a bit cloudy, but still stunning. By the end, we could not see some of the most recognizable buildings in the skyline. Seeing the snow fall and move from that height offered an entirely different perspective. As it was pushed by the wind and made its way through the clouds and down to the bottom, I wondered what the walk back to school would be like.

Later that night, I was leaving the evening session in my choir dress. As I made my way to the bus, I noticed thunder and lightening. The city doesn't get too many thunderstorms in general, and seeing it coupled with a blizzard caused some friends to coin the term "Thundersnow." I enjoyed watching the rest of Tuesday's storm from my shift at the music building desk.

While the rest of the city, including the public schools, shut down, my school's conference continued. It was moved to campus for the day, and my parents braved the storm and walked over from their hotel. Fragile doll that I am, I didn't step outside until after 4:00 p.m. that afternoon... I liked having it on campus. :)

It was interesting to observe the sidewalks when we finally ventured off campus to have a bite to eat. Wednesday and Thursday, some paths were barely wide enough for a doll like me to walk comfortably. Even today, I went out and the paths weren't much better -- still very slushy, for sure. I had to wear a snowboot... I fit all the way inside and didn't even need a coat!!

Well??? The verdict? Was this storm really a "Snowpocalypse" like they say?

My fabric is still drying out, and my ears are still blue. (Hmm... I think that's the color they've always been. Maybe I should get that checked out...) While others had a far worse experience than mine, I think I'm just as qualified as any other doll on the blogsophere to make an assessment.

Let's just call it "winter."

With love from an absolute doll,

Erin Joy