"Mommy, she has ice skates!"

Every little girl in the city must have pointed them out as I walked back from the park, skates slung over my shoulder. The innocence of the children was priceless. Ice skates mean romantic twists and turns on the ice, and pretty outfits. They mean beautiful music and a graceful bow at the end.

I didn't try any of the twists and turns when I skated yesterday, but we watched an experienced skater in the center of the rink. She might have been in jeans and a hoodie, but her beautiful motion showed practice and skill. I commented on how much fun she was to watch, and how I'd surely fall if I tried. (I might have cotton to soften the blow, but I wouldn't want the blade to slice my fabric open.)

"You have to fall," my friend responded. It's not just a matter of being willing to risk the failure -- it's a matter of falling and learning how to pick yourself up again. When we see a pretty outfit and perfect landings, we forget the falls that led them there.

To be honest, the past few weeks have forced me to begin dealing with some falls. In my musical imperfections, sin issues, and other pain, I've been looking for the shortcut. I've wanted to take the bow without taking the bruise. 

My friend and I didn't fall while we skated yesterday, but as we sat in a café and drank tea together, we talked about the bruises and broken bones that are part of this life. We listened and shared our pain. As we talked, I was reminded of the beautiful acceptance we find in the body of Christ.

We all fall. None of us has the twists and turns mastered yet. My bruise may be in a different place than yours, but it's there just the same. By the grace of Jesus, we can look forward together to the healing we'll find in heaven -- beautiful music, white robes and all.

With love from an absolute doll,

Erin Joy

Evidently, we hug...

We all have those awkward moments. You know... the kind when someone waves at you, and you are trying to figure out who they are. You don't remember, but you play along, because they obviously know, and you wouldn't want to hurt their feelings.

Walking back onto campus a couple weeks ago, after our break, I was greeted by an excited redhead. She was waving, running toward me with arms outstretched, exclaiming that she hadn't seen me in FOREVER. I love getting greetings like this from my friends. (And, being the doll that I am, I get lots of hugs...) There was only one problem...

I didn't have a clue who she was.

Wracking my cotton-filled brain for any recollection of this young lady, I opened my arms in return. This went beyond waving and playing along. This went beyond saying hi and pretending I knew her life story -- obviously our relationship went deeper. Evidently, we hug...

She gave me an enthusiastic embrace. Then, she said the words that made this situation all the more awkward. "Do I know you?"

"Ummm... no. No. You don't." I stood there stunned, realizing to my embarrassment that she had been intending to hug the person behind me.

Playing along is always a gamble. You never know if the other person actually knows you or not, or if they're just pretending, too. You realize how awkward it is, then move on with your life. Unfortunately, that's not the end of my story.

The next night, I met up with a friend. (Just to clarify... I actually knew this person.) He turned and introduced me to a tall girl with red hair. Normally, you say, "Nice to meet you." Never in my life have I heard a greeting like this one.

"Did I hug you yesterday?"

With love... and hugs... from an absolute doll,

Erin Joy

Destination: ISRAEL!

I've been busy lately getting ready for the tour to Israel with the Women's Concert Choir at school. We're planning to give concerts and serve the people in Israel for two weeks in May, and all of us are getting excited. Rehearsals are happening, support letters are being written and stuffed, and we're talking about t-shirt designs. We recently had pictures taken, and we all had to have our dresses hemmed. Mine was just a bit long, but we fixed it. I had a friend run the sewing machine. (It's dangerous for dolls to sew -- we might get sewn to the clothes ourselves, and then where would we be?)

I've been so blessed by the music in rehearsal. Words about looking to heaven, God's amazing grace, and pressing on in suffering soothe my soul every time we practice, and I can't imagine what a ministry the program will be, even to us girls in choir. Our director puts so much time into choosing the music, and carefully selects Scripture to go with it. I'm looking forward to worshiping God through this music nearly every day for two weeks -- what a blessing!

The next step involves passports. Next thing I know we'll be planning what to pack... and in a few short months I'll be in the Holy Land. In the meantime, I need to polish some accompaniments, learn the second alto part, and pray fervently that God provides the grace to accomplish it all. Or... rather, that He accomplishes it all, and maybe uses me as a tool. I'd appreciate your prayers during this time of preparation. 

So... without further ado -- the prayer request list! As I blog about Israel tour preparations, I'll give two or three specific prayer requests, and would appreciate your intercession for us.

1. Pray that the work I do on accompaniments would be excellent, and that God would multiply my efforts during my practice hours.
2. Pray that I would be able to prioritize my time well, get enough sleep and continue to take care of my health. Every individual member's energy affects our effectiveness as a choir. (My health has been doing so much better, by the way!)
3. Pray that our support raising would be a bonding time for the choir, and that the mutual dependence on God for the finances of the trip would cause us to grow closer to Him and each other.

One more thing... if you're praying, would you comment and let me know? It would be such an encouragement to me during our preparation process that God has raised up some prayer warriors on our behalf.

With love from an absolute doll,

Erin Joy

Friendship, Fountains, and Fall

The city has enjoyed a beautiful October heat wave. Combining the gorgeous reds, browns and golds of autumn with the warmth of summer doesn't always happen, and I've been loving it. The flowers are still blooming in the parks, the fountains are still running, and the city is a perfect place to enjoy a relaxing Sunday afternoon.

It's important to take a break every now and then. In the midst of the stress of mid-term exams and projects, a friend and I chose to take a much needed break and walk around the city. We stopped in at some cute little shops, and looked in the window at others. We walked through a park and enjoyed the fountain. (My friend lifted me up so I could see it. She got my fabric a bit wet, but I splashed her back.) We went to an African worship concert that evening, and then had dinner at an Italian restaurant with sidewalk seating. I've always wanted to eat on a city sidewalk. :) I finished the evening refreshed, and much more prepared to study for exams.

There's something so charming about the city on a Sunday afternoon. Very few have a huge agenda. A lot of people are ambling, sitting on a park bench and reading, or stopping for a leisurely dinner at a restaurant. The bustling you see on a Saturday at Macy's was gone in the quaint little shops in this part of the city. Oh, there were still some in a hurry. There was a rowdy bunch at a sports bar watching the big game as we passed by. There were people standing in line, hoping to get their spot at a restaurant, and there were cars driving constantly.

But still, most seemed to have stopped for a moment to enjoy life. Maybe that's what heat waves in October do. Maybe everyone was just grabbing the last bit of warm weather they could. Or maybe I saw the city through rose colored glasses that afternoon. Perhaps my determination to set aside my worries caused me to see the world as carefree. Whatever the case, I found the city delightful on Sunday, and it's left me in something of a nostalgic mood.

I was also reminded that afternoon of the beauty of friendship. A very close friend and I enjoyed the afternoon together, forgetting about homework for a while and sharing the stresses and joys of life. Our choir director joined us for dinner, and we enjoyed fellowship and laughter as the evening waned.

Honestly, I don't know how I would have made it through midterms if it hadn't been for some intentional rest. When you use your brain all the time, the stuffing gets squished from so much hard thinking, and you get tense all over. Sometimes, you need to be a little floppy and flexible. I reaped the benefits of that rest this weekend.

With love from an absolute doll,

Erin Joy

SuperDoll!

I ended up with whatever "gunk" has been going around campus this week. Normally, I'd push through, maybe take a nap or two, and be fine. This time around, pushing ahead wasn't an option. Frankly, a bad cold, left alone, could give me a relapse. So I've taken care of it... and fought it within an inch of my life.

You see, I want to be better. And I was getting better!! I was right on my way back to "SuperDoll" mode -- I could stay up late, I could do my homework, I could practice my full amount, I could do it all... and I didn't want to admit that having a cold could take me down.

My roommate had to tell me that I should skip church to sleep. My piano teacher had to tell me that I should skip class to sleep. My mother had to tell me that I should miss my volunteer tutoring in the projects to go to bed early. And when I wasn't being told by people who care about me that I should take care of myself, everyone I saw was asking me if I felt okay. "You look white," a friend observed just today.

I hate this... SuperDoll is an undefeated power, with lungs of steel.

But in the midst of hating this, God communicated a beautiful truth to me.

I will do anything I can to get better. I willingly schedule time for my breathing treatments, getting up early, sneaking out a few minutes in the middle of my day, and leaving time before I go to bed. I know that if I don't, I'll pay for it. I won't be SuperDoll without my treatments.

But at the same time, I make excuses about not finding time for God's Word. You know that superhuman strength I need to live each moment in the Spirit? I can't get that on my own... but I've observed that I more willingly carve out time to be a physical SuperDoll than to be a spiritual one. That is a huge disconnect.

So, to give this dense, cotton-filled head a bit of a connector, I have decided to spend time in the Word while I do my treatments. It may be a small start, but I'll be associating the spiritual sustenance with the physical. When I'm fully recovered physically, I'm hoping the lesson will stick...

I'm also hoping I'll remember that my lungs are made of cotton, not steel. :)

With love from an absolute (but not so super) doll,

Erin Joy

When life is beautiful

It was a simple day. We were in jeans and tennis shoes, with sweaters and sweatshirts for the fall weather. We met in the plaza and headed to the train station.We stopped for a brief moment at a coffee shop, saw people we knew, and chatted for a bit.

We got on the train and found ourselves laughing and talking, just like normal. Unsure which stop to choose for our destination, we struck up conversation with a middle-aged man on the train. He had a disability, so when we arrived at the stop, Chris helped him off.

We walked to the park and were immediately surrounded by masses of people. It took a while, but we finally found an empty spot to set our blankets and enjoy the evening. (You have no idea how hard it is to push through a crowd when you can't see over anyone's knees.)

Sprawled on blankets in the park, we waited for the rest of the group. It was one of those picturesque fall Sundays, meant for outings like this one. While we waited, I braided Linnea's hair, and Chris took pictures. Our other friends arrived, and we brought out the food -- popcorn, bananas, and granola bars. (I crawled inside the popcorn bag to get the last few kernels.)

Then the music began. The city's symphony orchestra played, celebrating its new conductor. Selections by Verdi, Liszt, Tchaikovsky, and Respighi came soaring from the stage. As the beautiful melodies floated through the air, I couldn't help but feel blessed.

Blessed to have such beautiful friendships. Blessed to hear music of that grandeur. Blessed to be in a part of the world where the seasons change, where September has its chilly moments. Blessed to be redeemed. Blessed to be alive.

Sometimes, life is beautiful. When God grants you a beautiful moment, take it, take pleasure in it, and praise Him...  for every good and perfect gift comes from above.

With love from an absolute doll,

Erin Joy

The Glory of God or the Magnifying of Me?

Well, duh. Of course we're going to choose the glory of God. It's kind of a no brainer, right??

While it should be, I'm sure all of us have areas in our lives where we let God's glory take second place to our wishes and desires. Recently, I've been convicted of this egotism in a very touchy area: church music.

What purposes does music in the church serve? That's not a rhetorical question; I'd welcome your comments. The two that come most readily to my mind are the praise of God (Psalm 33:2-3) and the edification of others (Ephesians 5:19).

I cannot think of a single passage in Scripture where it instructs us to sing praise to God to please ourselves. Don't get me wrong -- I'm not saying music cannot or should not be enjoyed. I'm a music major, so of course I love music! Corporate worship is not the only context for music given in Scripture by any means.

I'm just suggesting that, at least in the corporate worship setting, music always has an audience. The audience is God, other people, or, I think legitimately, both. We are instructed to "make melody to the Lord with all your heart" and to address "one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs." (Ephesians 5:19)

Here comes the convicting part. When we quarrel, whine, or refuse to worship because of the style of a song, we are neither edifying our fellow believers nor praising God. If that is the case, then music in the church is pointless.

It must break God's heart to see the "worship wars" in our churches today. Honestly, whether we sing all hymns or all praise choruses or a mix, whether we use drums or an organ, we have missed the point if we are not edifying the rest of the body and praising God.

I think a lot of us honestly think we are getting the praising God point. I have heard people say, "Well, I can't praise God with that song because I hate it." I have been guilty of that same sentiment myself. When we express it, we think we're getting the worship thing -- we want to be able to praise God more effectively, right?

Wrong. I don't think putting praising God in a box like that is possibly glorifying to Him. While I'm all for praising God in a style we connect to (hey -- I'm surrounded by budding ethnomusicologists!), I think leaving out the other ingredient to music in corporate worship is dangerous.

When we refuse to praise God because we hate the music, we are refusing to put others' interests ahead of our own. Remember the other audience Ephesians gives? The church. We are to address each other with songs. Maybe the style that I hate is presenting a song someone else in the body needs to hear that morning. Maybe by choosing to put their interests first and praise God along with them, I can in turn be made more Christ-like.

I can guarantee you that He will not be glorified by our bickering, by our arrogance in promoting our style first, or by our childish attitudes. He commands us to be unified, to show love to each other. I think those commands include music.

With love from an absolute doll,

Erin Joy