worshipping with His church

I've been doing an internship at my home church this summer, a church of about 200 people in rural America. They've given me the responsibility of planning and leading the worship every Sunday morning, under the supervision of our pastor.

What a learning experience! The challenge of selecting music, preparing it, doing transitions and modulations, leading rehearsals, and deciding what to say and when during the service -- well, it's been huge! Still, one thing stands out:

This is what God wants me to do.

Have you ever had one of those experiences where you're doing what He created you to do and it's beautiful? I look out on the congregation on Sunday mornings... and they're worshiping. We're all worshiping. We're doing it together, and God is using me to encourage His people.

Oh, yes, there will be moments of conflict, and I see that. There will be times in the future when my tears aren't joyful. But there's something incredible about worshiping with His people, His church.

I could theorize about what music to choose, and what instrumentation is best. I could talk about how the practicality of the future isn't worked out. I could moan and groan about searching for the right grad school, and not knowing how performance and worship ministry fit together. (In later posts, I probably will... after all, you've got to let a little doll moan and groan once in a while, right?) But right now, I just want to absorb the moment that is this summer.

I want to realize that all these years of asking and praying, all those questions of whether I was actually doing what He wanted me to do... well, it's worth it. I've wondered, asking God whether there was purpose to this. I've struggled, knowing that I want to serve Him, but not being willing to surrender completely. But now, I look back, and what do I see?

His hand is in it all. He led me to Moody, even when I didn't have a clue what I wanted to do the rest of my life. He brought me home during the summers not just to give me a job, but so that He could give me a passion for His church and His people. He brought me through a painful year of sickness and frustration, so He could show me that it's His grace empowering me to follow Him.

Even if He did all this just so that I could lead and learn this summer, it was worth it. But coupled with the blessing of the summer is an excitement for the future, because He's not done with me yet.

And I can't wait to see what my God has in store.

With love from an absolute doll,

Erin Joy