SuperDoll!

I ended up with whatever "gunk" has been going around campus this week. Normally, I'd push through, maybe take a nap or two, and be fine. This time around, pushing ahead wasn't an option. Frankly, a bad cold, left alone, could give me a relapse. So I've taken care of it... and fought it within an inch of my life.

You see, I want to be better. And I was getting better!! I was right on my way back to "SuperDoll" mode -- I could stay up late, I could do my homework, I could practice my full amount, I could do it all... and I didn't want to admit that having a cold could take me down.

My roommate had to tell me that I should skip church to sleep. My piano teacher had to tell me that I should skip class to sleep. My mother had to tell me that I should miss my volunteer tutoring in the projects to go to bed early. And when I wasn't being told by people who care about me that I should take care of myself, everyone I saw was asking me if I felt okay. "You look white," a friend observed just today.

I hate this... SuperDoll is an undefeated power, with lungs of steel.

But in the midst of hating this, God communicated a beautiful truth to me.

I will do anything I can to get better. I willingly schedule time for my breathing treatments, getting up early, sneaking out a few minutes in the middle of my day, and leaving time before I go to bed. I know that if I don't, I'll pay for it. I won't be SuperDoll without my treatments.

But at the same time, I make excuses about not finding time for God's Word. You know that superhuman strength I need to live each moment in the Spirit? I can't get that on my own... but I've observed that I more willingly carve out time to be a physical SuperDoll than to be a spiritual one. That is a huge disconnect.

So, to give this dense, cotton-filled head a bit of a connector, I have decided to spend time in the Word while I do my treatments. It may be a small start, but I'll be associating the spiritual sustenance with the physical. When I'm fully recovered physically, I'm hoping the lesson will stick...

I'm also hoping I'll remember that my lungs are made of cotton, not steel. :)

With love from an absolute (but not so super) doll,

Erin Joy

When life is beautiful

It was a simple day. We were in jeans and tennis shoes, with sweaters and sweatshirts for the fall weather. We met in the plaza and headed to the train station.We stopped for a brief moment at a coffee shop, saw people we knew, and chatted for a bit.

We got on the train and found ourselves laughing and talking, just like normal. Unsure which stop to choose for our destination, we struck up conversation with a middle-aged man on the train. He had a disability, so when we arrived at the stop, Chris helped him off.

We walked to the park and were immediately surrounded by masses of people. It took a while, but we finally found an empty spot to set our blankets and enjoy the evening. (You have no idea how hard it is to push through a crowd when you can't see over anyone's knees.)

Sprawled on blankets in the park, we waited for the rest of the group. It was one of those picturesque fall Sundays, meant for outings like this one. While we waited, I braided Linnea's hair, and Chris took pictures. Our other friends arrived, and we brought out the food -- popcorn, bananas, and granola bars. (I crawled inside the popcorn bag to get the last few kernels.)

Then the music began. The city's symphony orchestra played, celebrating its new conductor. Selections by Verdi, Liszt, Tchaikovsky, and Respighi came soaring from the stage. As the beautiful melodies floated through the air, I couldn't help but feel blessed.

Blessed to have such beautiful friendships. Blessed to hear music of that grandeur. Blessed to be in a part of the world where the seasons change, where September has its chilly moments. Blessed to be redeemed. Blessed to be alive.

Sometimes, life is beautiful. When God grants you a beautiful moment, take it, take pleasure in it, and praise Him...  for every good and perfect gift comes from above.

With love from an absolute doll,

Erin Joy

The Glory of God or the Magnifying of Me?

Well, duh. Of course we're going to choose the glory of God. It's kind of a no brainer, right??

While it should be, I'm sure all of us have areas in our lives where we let God's glory take second place to our wishes and desires. Recently, I've been convicted of this egotism in a very touchy area: church music.

What purposes does music in the church serve? That's not a rhetorical question; I'd welcome your comments. The two that come most readily to my mind are the praise of God (Psalm 33:2-3) and the edification of others (Ephesians 5:19).

I cannot think of a single passage in Scripture where it instructs us to sing praise to God to please ourselves. Don't get me wrong -- I'm not saying music cannot or should not be enjoyed. I'm a music major, so of course I love music! Corporate worship is not the only context for music given in Scripture by any means.

I'm just suggesting that, at least in the corporate worship setting, music always has an audience. The audience is God, other people, or, I think legitimately, both. We are instructed to "make melody to the Lord with all your heart" and to address "one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs." (Ephesians 5:19)

Here comes the convicting part. When we quarrel, whine, or refuse to worship because of the style of a song, we are neither edifying our fellow believers nor praising God. If that is the case, then music in the church is pointless.

It must break God's heart to see the "worship wars" in our churches today. Honestly, whether we sing all hymns or all praise choruses or a mix, whether we use drums or an organ, we have missed the point if we are not edifying the rest of the body and praising God.

I think a lot of us honestly think we are getting the praising God point. I have heard people say, "Well, I can't praise God with that song because I hate it." I have been guilty of that same sentiment myself. When we express it, we think we're getting the worship thing -- we want to be able to praise God more effectively, right?

Wrong. I don't think putting praising God in a box like that is possibly glorifying to Him. While I'm all for praising God in a style we connect to (hey -- I'm surrounded by budding ethnomusicologists!), I think leaving out the other ingredient to music in corporate worship is dangerous.

When we refuse to praise God because we hate the music, we are refusing to put others' interests ahead of our own. Remember the other audience Ephesians gives? The church. We are to address each other with songs. Maybe the style that I hate is presenting a song someone else in the body needs to hear that morning. Maybe by choosing to put their interests first and praise God along with them, I can in turn be made more Christ-like.

I can guarantee you that He will not be glorified by our bickering, by our arrogance in promoting our style first, or by our childish attitudes. He commands us to be unified, to show love to each other. I think those commands include music.

With love from an absolute doll,

Erin Joy

Well, I'm back in the city...

... and back to school. My first class was this morning, and I'm looking forward to taking courses in musical form and analysis, piano literature, Baroque counterpoint, philosophy, and how the Bible came to be. I'm working close to 15 hours a week this semester.

I have two new roommates, since the previous two left me to get married. (Seriously, why would you give up rooming with a doll like me???) They are both very sweet, and I'm looking forward to getting to know them better.

Last night was such a blessing. One of my former roommates invited several of us over to her apartment. At the end of the evening, four of us were left, and we spent some quality time in prayer for various situations we were facing. I left feeling prepared to start the semester. Spending time in the presence of the Almighty will do that... :)

One of my goals this fall is to blog more often. I'm going to start by aiming for at least one post a week. I'm hoping to do a series on church music philosophies soon... so watch for that.

Another goal of mine is to make my time in God's Word even more of a priority. I'm thinking about doino shg an inductive Bible study on 1 Peter, and I definitely plan to share posts on what God is teaching me.

I also need to keep seeing and doing in the city. While, yes, my studies, work and time with God need to be prioritized, I do want to take advantage of the exciting opportunities available to students in the city setting.

But, for now... I'm going to run to class. :)

With love from an absolute doll,

Erin Joy

The Dolly Daily... except it's really a weekly :)

This summer, I've been working full-time at my local newspaper. I realized today that I hadn't given you the promised post chronicling my adventures, and the summer is almost over!

So, where to start? My job has involved a whole host of different things, which is one of the reasons I love it so much. (That and the fact that I get to be a techie... but you already read about that!!)

This summer, I got to start a new feature column that we've been running every other week. Rather than filling it with my deep dolly insights, I've been interviewing various people in our coverage area about cooking. The column includes a picture of the featured chef, a profile of them, and three of their favorite recipes. Often, I've gotten to meet someone at their home, eat their incredible food, and get paid to ask them questions about it. No... I haven't put on any extra stuffing... don't worry. :)

Another of my little "projects" has been visiting the area library and looking at microfilm. I've been reading about what happened in my small town 10, 25, and 50 years ago. It's been pretty interesting... from the winners of a beard growing contest to the price of a subscription 50 years ago. And did you know that my hometown theatre showed the movie "Portrait in Black" in color when it first came out?

In addition to my normal responsibilities as a feature writer, I've gotten to explore photography a little more as well. Actually, I've probably done as much photography as I have writing this summer... which isn't normal for me! I've found that a good camera makes it much easier to take good pictures, and I actually enjoy photography now.

I've loved the newspaper this summer -- the teamwork in the office, the chance to meet new people, the rush to complete a project before the deadline (okay, so our deadlines aren't THAT intense, but still!), the challenge of finding the perfect angle for a story, and the constant reality that the product I'm producing is so much bigger than I am... :)

With love from an absolute doll,

Erin Joy

Thoughts on "Riven"

As a college student, I seldom have time read much besides textbooks. This summer has been no different; I've been reading my New Testament Survey textbook and the press releases that come into the newspaper where I work.

Being sick changed some of that. I didn't quite have the energy to study a scholarly analysis of the background of Paul's letters, and so, on a Saturday afternoon when I was doped up on Benedryl, I raided the church library.

My curiosity had been piqued by Jerry Jenkins's book Riven. He describes it as a work of a lifetime, as "the novel I have always wanted to write." I had enjoyed reading one of his books on writing at the beginning this summer while recovering from my concussion, and wanted to read some of his fiction as well.

Riven was no disappointment. Jenkins wove a story with true-to-life characters and conflicts. I believed Thomas Carey's plight, the pastor who had been walked on by countless congregations, never seeing fruit in his ministry. Brady Wayne Darby's constant battles to escape the trailer park were all to no avail, and my heart broke for him.

Sometimes I was angry with the characters for not responding the way I thought they should, but always their motives made sense to me. It takes skillful writing to present characters who are believable even when their actions are illogical. Sometimes human behavior defies logic.

All this was accomplished with a beautiful writing style. Jenkins writes in a way that doesn't interfere with the story. I find it difficult to enjoy a poorly written story because I am constantly distracted by my annoyances with the style. It can be equally difficult to read writing that constantly draws attention to itself as phenomenal and complex. Jenkins has neither fault -- his writing tells a story, and it was only after reading a while that I noticed how beautifully he was doing it.

One final thought before I close: This book resonated with me deeply. A theme woven throughout the story is the long wait for the fruit of Kingdom labor. The story spans seventeen years, and when it opens, Thomas Carey is already worn with waiting. How willing am I to wait for God's redemption of a sinner? The beautiful ending would never have been possible without the painful wait, but it's never easy to see that in the meantime.

Well... I'm still not feeling the best, so I should probably sign off for the night and head for bed. (Or maybe I should stay sick... I seem to get a lot of worthwhile reading done that way...)

With love from an absolute doll,

Erin Joy

the list gets shorter...

I now have bronchitis. :( After having more complications with my asthma over the weekend, we went to the doctor this morning, and I got put on prescription drug number four. I'm starting to feel the Prednisone kicking in at long last, and hopefully I should be myself in a few days. I'm drinking lots of water, and I had chicken and rice soup for lunch.

Still, I can't shake a comment a doctor made during my first visit ten days ago. "Stick with music... I wouldn't go out for sports."

You see, dear readers, I have realized that the options for my hobbies and careers are narrowing. As young Anne Shirley once put it, "My life is a perfect graveyard of buried hopes."

I can never go out for sports. (Exercise is an asthma trigger.)

I will never be a professional house painter. (Paint fumes caused problems Wednesday morning.)

I will never be able to climb Mount Everest. (While my Prednisone has me wired enough that I want to, I have to realize that the altitude might not be beneficial for my breathing.)

I will never be the jazz pianist in the cocktail bar. (Too much smoke...)

I can never be the manager of a grain co-op. (Burnt, moldy corn from a grain fire at the elevator in my hometown was probably what sent me over the edge.)

I can never pursue a career in veterinary medicine. (I can handle animals in limited quantity for a short period of time... but maybe I spent too much time at the county fair?)

I can never be a firefighter. (This one doesn't quite need any explanation...)


Well... as sad as the narrowing career options are, I have to admit, I'm glad to be on the road to recovery. I'm also glad to know what my triggers are... now I can behave myself and avoid them.

Even if it means I'll never be able to be a professional carpet cleaner. :)

With love from an absolute doll,

Erin Joy